Articles

You Don't Have to be Perfect

You Don’t Have to be Perfect to Have a Perfect Relationship

"Look at them, they’re the perfect couple!"

"No wonder they have a great relationship… he treats her well, not like you!"

"You’re perfect just the way you are, now if only…."

My husband left me a note the other day which read, “Thanks for loving me just the way I am.” Nobody is perfect, yet some of us try to change who we are to be who we think another wants us to be, thus creating an imperfect relationship.

Our relationship is perfect because we “show up” exactly as we are: bumps, scratches and scars. We speak our truth no matter how hard or crazy it is, and sometimes we know that we will hurt each other. But if the truth isn’t spoken, we will build resentments and the imbalance begins.

When two people come together they are forming a perfect union; it doesn’t always look perfect but it is the opportunity that they are choosing to grow individually and together. When we don’t show up fully there is imbalance and the safety is not there.

We know that no matter what happens in our relationship we are committed to making it work: we are willing to stay in love.

I have to be willing to stay in love, to look for all the evidence of what does work, of why I love my man. That’s the detective work - build a case of he loves me instead of he’s out to get me. Just like a detective, if I have a question I have to ask it no matter how off- track it seems. I have to trust that by sharing my feelings our lines of communication will remain open and we will both have more to give to the relationship, creating more fun, freedom and love.

We aren’t perfect: our relationship is. It’s perfect because we show up just the way we are. We have lots of evidence to prove that love is the answer.