Articles

Wouldn’t it be great if we could bottle ‘new love’?

The excitement of waiting for the phone to ring that leads to the all night phone calls, the fluttering of the heart when we hear his or her voice over the phone… when we see their name pop up on the screen to let you know that you have mail. If only that feeling never went away… How you would go to the ends of the earth for that person, blindfolded…

What happens to that feeling?

We believe that we become lazy, lazy in love.

Being in love becomes a bit of a chore and takes away from everything else in our lives that is pressing like jobs, families and going to the gym. So once that giddy euphoria subsides we get back into regular life and think that the rest will take care of itself. I don’t think that people discuss this change of events in the relationship and one of the couple ends up standing on the sidelines saying ‘hey, what happened?’

Growing up I thought I would fall in love and live happily ever after… I don’t know where I learnt that from but it could have been something I heard somewhere along the way. Learning how to fall in love was easy, staying in love was not.

Nobody ever taught me how to stay in love. Nobody taught me to how to be a wife or mother or a great lover. I had to figure it all out by myself. I went to school and learned the names of all 50 US states and their capitals and I learned about scalene triangles, but nobody taught me how to handle my internal stress monitor when my baby was screaming or how to really listen to what someone is saying. If love is what makes the world go around why has it not always been a many splendid thing.

Happy marriages offer longer life, better health and a lot more sex, claims the September 11th edition of Maclean’s magazine. But what constitutes a "happy" marriage? How do you move from the romance phase to a "happy" marriage if you’ve never been taught how to STAY in love? We believe that being taught to stay in love is a vital component to a happy and successful marriage.

It doesn’t have to be difficult. So don’t make it. In order to be in a long term, happy marriage the first thing you need to do is commit. Commit to the relationship: it is work and it does take two. Find out what love looks like to each of you and commit to honouring each others process. By committing to the relationship you are giving each other permission to be real, to be yourselves and honour the imperfections in one another.

One of the strategies we use to stay in love is our monthly create-a-date. The purpose of these dates is to honour the commitment we have to our relationship in a fun, exciting and safe environment. We take turns every month surprising each other with a date, we don’t know when it is coming or what it is. We have created some fun dates that don't include sex at all, and we have created some that are purely sexual fantasies. Check out our ‘Date Ideas’ on our website and if you want to send us some ideas just go to contact us and we would be happy to review it.

And if MacLean’s magazine states that a happy marriage offers longer life, better health and more sex, why not?