Dear Shawn
Dear Shawn,
My question is: When men think they are not "worthy" due to, let's say, impotence, and when I say, "it doesn't matter," it’s not enough. What can a woman do to REINFORCE her love to her man? Thanks in advance.
Dear Reinforcement,
If I was afflicted with the challenge of impotence, I don’t think Lorraine saying, “it doesn’t matter,” would work for me either. I will assume that this is something your man doesn’t want to spend a lot of time talking about, or that he is overly proud of.
As men, there are 2 things that we fear most:
- That we’re not going to be loved and,
- That we’re not enough
And all a man wants to do is make his woman happy. Period. If you’re happy, he’s happy.
I would consider looking at other strategies to increase the worthiness of your man other than saying, “it doesn’t matter.”
Here’s an idea: Go back to our salt shaker theory. You and he sit down at the table, on the same side. Put a salt shaker in front of you both. The salt shaker now becomes the issue of impotence. Now it’s not his problem, but your problem, as a team, and it now becomes a challenge that you can work on together.
As simple as it sounds, the salt shaker theory works for a bunch of relationship issues. You’ll find that you will begin to get out of your own way. The salt shaker becomes the issue rather than pointing at each other, you both point at the salt.
Some things you may talk about are seeking professional help from your doctor. About 65% of impotence cases are caused by a physical disorder such as diabetes or a thyroid problem. There’s a place to start.
So I would recommend your husband visit his doctor to see if he suffers from a related illness. And then there’s always the magic blue pill. Once again, consult your physician on that one.
SJ
